Bryan Holten

Church Music Made Better

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How to Have a Healthy Relationship with Your Pastor

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A better partnership starts with awareness. Here’s how to get there.

two colleagues shaking hands

Pastors and musicians have a history of fraught relationships, but yours doesn’t have to be that way. Everyone has their good and bad days, but no one deserves to be stuck at an impasse forever. Healthy relationships in the church are just as important as anywhere else. Here are a few of my suggestions for how to have a healthy relationship with your pastor. He or she should always be your number one partner in music ministry.

Don’t assume anything.

Too many musicians assume that the pastor is little more than a philosopher with his “head in the clouds.” Likewise, too many pastors assume that musicians are temperamental artists with little concern for the larger work of the church. Don’t make this mistake.

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Self Assessment through Audio Recordings (for Musicians)

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smartphone with headphones

Your recording device is like an honest friend. Here’s how to use it to your benefit.

Even the simplest audio setup—perhaps an iPhone audio recorder app—can be a powerful tool for self assessment in music. Here’s how to make the best use of it.

First, a story.

The perils of self-assessment

Imagine that you are having lunch with a good friend named Sam. You’ve known Sam a long time, and you know that she shares your values and wants you to succeed. You know that she’s in a romantic relationship with Theo, and it’s not going well. She wants to talk about it. You are hoping that the conversation will unfold organically and you’ll have a chance to help her without forcing your opinion.

If only it were that easy. Instead, you talk in platitudes for 45 minutes, growing ever more uncomfortable. Finally, Sam asks you a blunt question without segue: “What do you think of Theo?”

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